AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really beginning to feel the pressure!!! It's the final countdown to the wedding day and I'm feeling so many emotions! I'm so excited, stressed, scared, happy, anxious, etc...the list goes on and on. We've worked so incredibly hard on this and we've come so far. Now it's crunch time and things are getting incredibly tense for me. Part of me is really excited and calm and part of me is chaotic and scared. This is such a HUGE step for me...I thought it was scary the first time I got married...second time around is far more terrifying. Don't get me wrong...I'm SUPER excited but I can't help but feel nervous! I scheduled myself off only one day before the wedding...I'm really starting to regret that. I work Monday and Tuesday and I'm wishing I gave myself those two days to run all of my last minute errands and take care of things at home before the big move and name change process. Hopefully I can get a lot of it done this weekend so I won't feel as stressed come Monday and Tuesday. Now I'm rambling so I'll end this now but I just needed to vent a bit! Wish us luck!!!

Did You See?!!!

Did you see our wedding day ticker on the right of this page?!!! TWO WEEKS AND THREE DAYS!!!! We're SO close now!!! The countdown begins!!!

The Last Four Months

Wow...I really suck at this posting on my blog business!! Hopefully I'll get better at it soon!!! So to update you on the last four months...

In January we had my mom's birthday, in February was Amy's, March was Jonathan's and April is mine.  It's sort of a family tradition to take each other out to dinner where the birthday person chooses then have some sort of dessert (usually cake) with ice cream afterwards. It's always a fun time and it's sort of the highlight of each month to have a birthday to celebrate together!!

In February Jonathan and I took our engagement pictures!!! We went to Gardner Village to shoot them and then headed to a little home decor shop off of 8th West for a few more. Our photographer, ShaiLynn, is the absolute best!! I was freaking out because two days before the shoot I got a big fat cold sore on the corner of my upper lip and it was swollen up so bad!!! ShaiLynn did SUCH a good job...you can't even tell I ever had a cold sore and the pictures turned out beautifully!! Here are a few of my favorites!!

This past four months has been dedicated to working hard to prepare for our wedding next month!!!  We've only got three weeks left and we're so close to having everything done!!  I just had my bridals shoot on Saturday and I'm SO excited to see how they turn out!!!  I'm sure I'll be posting those pictures as soon as I receive them and when that happens Jonathan will be banned from the internet so he doesn't "accidentally" see the dress before the big day!!!  We are so excited and it is going to be such a big day for both of us!!!

As far as everything else goes...we're both just working hard.  Jonathan is the head chef at LDS Hospital and he works really hard at it.  He loves his job which is really nice!  I still work at the bank and working hard at that.  Other than that there's really nothing too exciting happening with us other than planning the wedding.  It'll be nice when the day comes and we can relax and start doing other fun things!!  I promise I'm going to try to post more often after the wedding...our first goal is to get a handle on the bills then the second we have any breathing room we're getting cable and internet!!!  Hopefully it won't take too long!  See ya soon  :D

Happy New Year!!!

I'm so glad the new year has started!!! I feel like this is a clean break so I can start fresh!!! I am constantly working on myself but I actually do have a few New Year's Resolutions this year! I'm going to try my hardest to be less of a spender and try to pay off debt this year. I'm going to try to be a better person (I've been working on this one since my divorce) and try to be more patient and understanding. I just really want to work harder to make my life better and be more pleasant for those who surround me. I realize that this is a lot to work on but I think I can do it if I just stay positive! Hopefully it works out!!! Wish me luck and enjoy your new year's celebrations!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

It's been an incredibly long time since I've posted on here! Things are as crazy as ever for us. Christmas was awesome and I'm now officially on vacation til Thursday! Woohoo!!! Then after the new year it's back to working our butts off and planning the wedding(Six more months to go!)! We're super excited! Other than that there really isn't much else going on. Just working hard to get through the holidays! I am going to try to keep up with this blogger better...it's part of my new year's resolution...along with being less of a spender this year so I can pay off more debt AND pay for the wedding! Hahaha!!! Let's see how long that lasts!!! What are your new year's resolutions?! I'd love to hear them!! I hope you all had a great Christmas and are enjoying the holidays!!! Happy Holidays!!!

The Total Money Makeover

Jonathan and I just finished listening to the audio book "The Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. It took us three days because we could only listen to one disc at a time...they're a little over an hour each disc. Let me tell you...this guy is SMART!!! I loved his simple plans and theories and his common sense matches up with mine so much that it's amazing! I loved his plan and his motto of "Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else"! It was awesome!!! We decided to adopt his plan and really work hard at getting ourselves fit financially! I would recommend this book to EVERYONE!!! He's smart and simple and that's what makes his plan work for me. I am so excited because I actually have hope after listening to it. Seriously I think everyone should read it or hear it...even if you don't adopt the plan into your own life at least you could maybe learn a thing or two from it! I'm so excited to start my money makeover and maybe get myself in a place I want to be instead of a place I have to be. :D

My Plan For Healing

Sorry it's been so long since I've even looked at blogger! I've been super busy with work and what not. Things are going well here! I'm not sure if I have really updated you guys in a while. I am still working at the bank full time trying to get out of debt from the divorce and I'm finally starting to see some progress even though it's small progress, it's progress! I'm now dating a guy I met online a few years back named Jonathan and he treats me better than I've ever been treated even though we both have our issues! He's a chef from Michigan and he works at LDS Hospital as the head chef....he mostly does the room service side of it but he helps with the cafeteria and does caterings and things like that. He loves it and that's what matters! We started casually dating when he moved to Utah in June last year and so far it's been awesome! We've had some really rocky roads and some pretty incredible fights but we always work through them somehow. He's adorable and he treats me really well...even though I have a lot of crap to deal with! Haha! I'm lucky to have him in my life and I'm thankful for him every day.

The past few months I've just been working on a plan to get myself well from my past not only financially but emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. I think I've grown a lot in the past two years since the divorce and it's definitely made me stronger. Even though I still have weak times I seem to get through them a little bit faster every time. Jonathan is trying to get me to go to the gym with him because he thinks it'd be incredibly beneficial to my healing process...I agree completely with the theory but OH MY GOSH IS IT HARD?!! I have always hated exercising...I'll admit it!! I am super lazy and I like being super lazy!!! Haha!! I know it's best for me so we've decided to go just once a week. We started three weeks ago...I have been to the gym once in the three weeks we've been going!!! LOL!!!! Ooops!!! Guess I'll need a little more motivation to conquer this venture of mine!!!

So my plan for improving myself is as follows:

Financially-Put every extra penny I can towards my debts and don't purchase anything I don't have the money for right here right now! If it's not already in my bank account...it's not going on my cards!

Physically-Stick to my goal of going to the gym once a week and slowly progressing to go more often throughout the week. This is exceptionally hard for me given my work really exhausts me and scheduling isn't easy when you're tired already. I have to remember that even though I'm tired now...I'll be much more energetic later if I just stick with it!

Emotionally-Take time out for myself every once in a while to just focus on my own emotional well being. I have to give myself credit for things I do right and stop beating myself up til I can't take anymore when I mess up....I need to allow myself some room to make mistakes and forgive myself when I do have a lapse.

Mentally-Take a break from everything sometimes. Sometimes I just need to relax and not do a thing that will constantly fill up my brain with junk to keep myself from breaking down. Maybe then the breakdowns won't be as climatic and they'll even out more so I won't feel like I'm starting at square one every time. I need to quiet my brain for a while every so often.

Another thing I'd like to work on is my friendships and relationships with my family. Having a good support system and being able to share each one's experiences and triumphs and joys is something I've always wanted to be able to do. I feel it's incredibly important to make the ones you love feel important by being there for them and reaching out to them. If you're reaching out to your loved ones it closes the gap so that they can reach back comfortably.

I'm hoping that my plan works and really helps me to grow as a person. I know I'm not perfect and probably never will be but I need to get myself to a place where I can feel comfortable with who I am. I hope that this will help me be a better person and better friend, daughter, and sister. I love you all and appreciate you all with all my heart even if I show it poorly if at all. Thanks for listening to my rattlings! It really does mean a lot to me.