Sorry it's been so long since I've even looked at blogger! I've been super busy with work and what not. Things are going well here! I'm not sure if I have really updated you guys in a while. I am still working at the bank full time trying to get out of debt from the divorce and I'm finally starting to see some progress even though it's small progress, it's progress! I'm now dating a guy I met online a few years back named Jonathan and he treats me better than I've ever been treated even though we both have our issues! He's a chef from Michigan and he works at LDS Hospital as the head chef....he mostly does the room service side of it but he helps with the cafeteria and does caterings and things like that. He loves it and that's what matters! We started casually dating when he moved to Utah in June last year and so far it's been awesome! We've had some really rocky roads and some pretty incredible fights but we always work through them somehow. He's adorable and he treats me really well...even though I have a lot of crap to deal with! Haha! I'm lucky to have him in my life and I'm thankful for him every day.
The past few months I've just been working on a plan to get myself well from my past not only financially but emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. I think I've grown a lot in the past two years since the divorce and it's definitely made me stronger. Even though I still have weak times I seem to get through them a little bit faster every time. Jonathan is trying to get me to go to the gym with him because he thinks it'd be incredibly beneficial to my healing process...I agree completely with the theory but OH MY GOSH IS IT HARD?!! I have always hated exercising...I'll admit it!! I am super lazy and I like being super lazy!!! Haha!! I know it's best for me so we've decided to go just once a week. We started three weeks ago...I have been to the gym once in the three weeks we've been going!!! LOL!!!! Ooops!!! Guess I'll need a little more motivation to conquer this venture of mine!!!
So my plan for improving myself is as follows:
Financially-Put every extra penny I can towards my debts and don't purchase anything I don't have the money for right here right now! If it's not already in my bank account...it's not going on my cards!
Physically-Stick to my goal of going to the gym once a week and slowly progressing to go more often throughout the week. This is exceptionally hard for me given my work really exhausts me and scheduling isn't easy when you're tired already. I have to remember that even though I'm tired now...I'll be much more energetic later if I just stick with it!
Emotionally-Take time out for myself every once in a while to just focus on my own emotional well being. I have to give myself credit for things I do right and stop beating myself up til I can't take anymore when I mess up....I need to allow myself some room to make mistakes and forgive myself when I do have a lapse.
Mentally-Take a break from everything sometimes. Sometimes I just need to relax and not do a thing that will constantly fill up my brain with junk to keep myself from breaking down. Maybe then the breakdowns won't be as climatic and they'll even out more so I won't feel like I'm starting at square one every time. I need to quiet my brain for a while every so often.
Another thing I'd like to work on is my friendships and relationships with my family. Having a good support system and being able to share each one's experiences and triumphs and joys is something I've always wanted to be able to do. I feel it's incredibly important to make the ones you love feel important by being there for them and reaching out to them. If you're reaching out to your loved ones it closes the gap so that they can reach back comfortably.
I'm hoping that my plan works and really helps me to grow as a person. I know I'm not perfect and probably never will be but I need to get myself to a place where I can feel comfortable with who I am. I hope that this will help me be a better person and better friend, daughter, and sister. I love you all and appreciate you all with all my heart even if I show it poorly if at all. Thanks for listening to my rattlings! It really does mean a lot to me.
2 comments:
Good luck. I know it seems hard but it sounds like you have got a handle on it. Let me know if you ever need a listening ear. I know it has been years since we talked but I am here if you need me. :)
Day at a time. That is what I tell myself lately. And stop being so darn hard on yourself girl! You were always one of the happiest most energetic people I know-it is one of your strengths.
Post a Comment