Happy Holidays!!!

It's been an incredibly long time since I've posted on here! Things are as crazy as ever for us. Christmas was awesome and I'm now officially on vacation til Thursday! Woohoo!!! Then after the new year it's back to working our butts off and planning the wedding(Six more months to go!)! We're super excited! Other than that there really isn't much else going on. Just working hard to get through the holidays! I am going to try to keep up with this blogger better...it's part of my new year's resolution...along with being less of a spender this year so I can pay off more debt AND pay for the wedding! Hahaha!!! Let's see how long that lasts!!! What are your new year's resolutions?! I'd love to hear them!! I hope you all had a great Christmas and are enjoying the holidays!!! Happy Holidays!!!

The Total Money Makeover

Jonathan and I just finished listening to the audio book "The Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. It took us three days because we could only listen to one disc at a time...they're a little over an hour each disc. Let me tell you...this guy is SMART!!! I loved his simple plans and theories and his common sense matches up with mine so much that it's amazing! I loved his plan and his motto of "Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else"! It was awesome!!! We decided to adopt his plan and really work hard at getting ourselves fit financially! I would recommend this book to EVERYONE!!! He's smart and simple and that's what makes his plan work for me. I am so excited because I actually have hope after listening to it. Seriously I think everyone should read it or hear it...even if you don't adopt the plan into your own life at least you could maybe learn a thing or two from it! I'm so excited to start my money makeover and maybe get myself in a place I want to be instead of a place I have to be. :D

My Plan For Healing

Sorry it's been so long since I've even looked at blogger! I've been super busy with work and what not. Things are going well here! I'm not sure if I have really updated you guys in a while. I am still working at the bank full time trying to get out of debt from the divorce and I'm finally starting to see some progress even though it's small progress, it's progress! I'm now dating a guy I met online a few years back named Jonathan and he treats me better than I've ever been treated even though we both have our issues! He's a chef from Michigan and he works at LDS Hospital as the head chef....he mostly does the room service side of it but he helps with the cafeteria and does caterings and things like that. He loves it and that's what matters! We started casually dating when he moved to Utah in June last year and so far it's been awesome! We've had some really rocky roads and some pretty incredible fights but we always work through them somehow. He's adorable and he treats me really well...even though I have a lot of crap to deal with! Haha! I'm lucky to have him in my life and I'm thankful for him every day.

The past few months I've just been working on a plan to get myself well from my past not only financially but emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. I think I've grown a lot in the past two years since the divorce and it's definitely made me stronger. Even though I still have weak times I seem to get through them a little bit faster every time. Jonathan is trying to get me to go to the gym with him because he thinks it'd be incredibly beneficial to my healing process...I agree completely with the theory but OH MY GOSH IS IT HARD?!! I have always hated exercising...I'll admit it!! I am super lazy and I like being super lazy!!! Haha!! I know it's best for me so we've decided to go just once a week. We started three weeks ago...I have been to the gym once in the three weeks we've been going!!! LOL!!!! Ooops!!! Guess I'll need a little more motivation to conquer this venture of mine!!!

So my plan for improving myself is as follows:

Financially-Put every extra penny I can towards my debts and don't purchase anything I don't have the money for right here right now! If it's not already in my bank account...it's not going on my cards!

Physically-Stick to my goal of going to the gym once a week and slowly progressing to go more often throughout the week. This is exceptionally hard for me given my work really exhausts me and scheduling isn't easy when you're tired already. I have to remember that even though I'm tired now...I'll be much more energetic later if I just stick with it!

Emotionally-Take time out for myself every once in a while to just focus on my own emotional well being. I have to give myself credit for things I do right and stop beating myself up til I can't take anymore when I mess up....I need to allow myself some room to make mistakes and forgive myself when I do have a lapse.

Mentally-Take a break from everything sometimes. Sometimes I just need to relax and not do a thing that will constantly fill up my brain with junk to keep myself from breaking down. Maybe then the breakdowns won't be as climatic and they'll even out more so I won't feel like I'm starting at square one every time. I need to quiet my brain for a while every so often.

Another thing I'd like to work on is my friendships and relationships with my family. Having a good support system and being able to share each one's experiences and triumphs and joys is something I've always wanted to be able to do. I feel it's incredibly important to make the ones you love feel important by being there for them and reaching out to them. If you're reaching out to your loved ones it closes the gap so that they can reach back comfortably.

I'm hoping that my plan works and really helps me to grow as a person. I know I'm not perfect and probably never will be but I need to get myself to a place where I can feel comfortable with who I am. I hope that this will help me be a better person and better friend, daughter, and sister. I love you all and appreciate you all with all my heart even if I show it poorly if at all. Thanks for listening to my rattlings! It really does mean a lot to me.

Invisible

Do you ever feel invisible? I do.

A Tribute To My Sisters

I just wanted to take a few minutes to write about how much I absolutely adore and love my sisters! They are the best sisters a girl could ask for and I am so thankful to have them in my life and to have their support. I love spending time with them just goofing off and being myself. I love that even though I make LOTS of mistakes or they don't agree with me I know that they still love me. I am so proud to be your sister guys! Love you!

Heather

Jenny

Amy

Jonathan's 24th Birthday!

March 12 was Jonathan's 24th birthday! We both took the day off work and did birthday things all day! We started off with shopping at The Gateway where we got Jonathan some awesome clothes from Hollister and Pacsun. We goofed off for a while and then decided it was time for lunch. I suggested Happy Sumo since he'd never been there and it was AWESOME!!! We goofed around at Happy Sumo for a while and then it was time to go back to his apartment to kill some time before we had my family's traditional birthday party for him...dinner and a movie complete with cake and ice cream! We headed out to my sister's house to meet for dinner. Jonathan picked out Texas Roadhouse for dinner which was delicious and the perfect place to goof off and joke around! Nothing like a good steak and some awesome people to be around for a good time! After dinner we headed back to my sisters' condo to decide the next step in our adventure. We got talking about different movies we liked (which is actually pretty normal) and we decided to go on a Quest to find the movie That Thing You Do! which turned out to be more difficult than we thought yet successful nonetheless! We went back to the condo and turned the movie on while we pigged out on cake and ice cream! Heather wanted to make the cake but she ran out of time so she bought him a chocolate cake with mint frosting and it was superb! When the movie ended it was late and we were all homeward bound. We had a lot of fun and I think it turned out to be a really successful birthday for Jonathan! Here are a few pictures of our day. (I don't know why we didn't take pictures at Texas Roadhouse or at my sisters' condo but here's a few from earlier on)!

Birthday Outfit! Shopping Success!

Sushi @ Happy Sumo!!! Yummmm!!!

Waiting for Our Sushi!

Goofing Off!

Help!

So I have been working my butt off trying to get my debt controllable (since it's not realistic that I could just wipe it out completely the least I could do is make it more controlled) and trying to pay the bills and keep myself eating better while taking care of chores at home...I feel literally exhausted every day. I would love to have the energy on my time off to be with friends and have energy to go out and do fun things with my boyfriend, Jonathan, and be able to feel energized at work so I'm not dragging all day long. I have noticed that when I am making leaps and bounds in my money situation I seem to feel a lot better physically and mentally but if I'm just making baby steps I feel like collapsing at any second.
Recently I just paid off a huge amount of debt and made some huge leaps but I am worried that when it goes back to the baby steps (and it will soon) that I'm going to fall back into the weak, collapsible Kerry that always seems to appear when I'm making very little progress. I feel that I should be able to keep the energy level high all the time like I used to even if I'm making very little progress. It shouldn't matter what my financial status is...I need to just find the energy to do the things I used to love.
I do realize that depression and anxiety are huge factors in why I have no energy but I feel that if I could just find things that will help boost my energy the depression/anxiety will very likely minimize itself as a result. I want to try to do more things on nights I have to work (which is the hardest time for me to do things) that will help me let go of stress and help me to relax enough that I am comfortable doing other activities I used to love. I was thinking about trying to get back in the habit of doing yoga on a regular basis and maybe trying to implement an easy exercise routine or maybe eating more energy boosting foods (which I have no idea what they'd be but I know they're out there) and other things like that. This is where I need the help. Does anyone know any simple ways to boost energy? What do you do that helps you get the energy you need to get things you need and want done? I need ideas because I get so tired of feeling tired and worn out all the time...I'd love to have my old quality of life back but I know I'm going to have to work for it. Any ideas and suggestions? I'd be greatly appreciative!