Depression Is...

Depression is ugly. It's not like the commercials that make it look simple. Just take a small pill every day and it's all better. It's not. Depression is pain. It's mental pain. Physical pain. Emotinal pain. You take that little pill and it makes you numb to the pain...most of the time...but it also makes you feel numb to everything else. And when the medication isn't enough you are left to fight on your own. You lay in bed all day just trying to get up enough energy to get up and get in the shower. Then when you've exhausted all your energy just showering you just want to lay down in bed again. You don't even bother getting dressed. You just lay there exhausted. Worn out. You just want to sleep even though you've slept plenty and you can't sleep anymore. You know you have a million things to do because you've felt like this for days and have been putting off all of your tasks because you just physically can't do it. You wish you could just snap out of it. You loathe yourself because you feel like you're just being lazy. But it's not just being lazy. It's physical inability to move no matter what the motivation. You want to get up. You want to get out of the bed...out of the house...out of the area. You want to go make healthy choices. You. Just. Can't. You feel guilty for being unable to do anything which just adds to your pain. Depression is feeling ugly. Depression is feeling worthless. Depression is feeling tired all the time. Depression is feeling guilty. Depression is feeling like you're suffocating...smothered. Depression is feeling heavy...like a metal weight dropped on your body. Depression is sadness. Depression is having no control over your emotions. Depression is feeling sad for no reason at all. Depression is crying for no reason. Depression is knowing that life is good and hating it anyway.

So when you hear that someone was clinically diagnosed with clinical depression: Don't judge. Don't try to fix it. Don't push them. Don't give up on them. Just be there for them.  Show them you care. Hug them. Call/text/email them. Be gentle. Be loving. Be supportive. Don't force them to talk about it because 99% of the time there's nothing to talk about. They need your love. They need your understanding. They need your love. They need your support. They need your physical presence...even if it's to sit in silence watching a movie. They need you. They need help. I need help.