Update & An Exciting Announcement!!

So sorry it's been a while. Many of you may have already heard that as soon as Jonathan's old burned out computer was trashed and the hard drives were destroyed my laptop completely crashed. When I say as soon as...I mean the exact same day. So we have been computerless for a few weeks but we finally saved up enough to get a new laptop last week and here we are again!

A few quick updates then we have a big announcement.

A few quick updates:

1-I have been at the new branch near my house for almost a month and I am LOVING it!! I save on gas and food because I live so close I can just drive home for lunch and I get to make my own lunch which saves on eating out. I also love my coworkers...they are all really awesome and they treat me like gold which is a HUGE thing in the workplace these days. I love feeling wanted and loved and appreciated!!!

2-Jonathan is still loving his job at the hospital and has had some difficulties with it recently but is still happy with it anyway which makes me happy.

3-We got this new beautiful laptop to replace the two that died and we are loving it!! I know I already said that but I wanted to reiterate the fact that we are making progress in getting the things we need to make life more simple/comfortable!!

4-We started making a family improvement plan to help us with our struggles with Jonathan's bipolar disorder and we're hoping that it will just help improve our relationship as a couple and bring us closer together. I always believe there is always something to work on in relationships and this is a tool that I think will help us build a strong marriage and family. It includes many various activities we can do together (i.e. read together, watch uplifting movies together, exercise together, go on dates together, work on spirituality together, etc.) and building a good stable routine to keep up on the house and hygiene and all that fun stuff! I'm excited about it! I love having routines...things just seem to flow smoother when we're in routines plus it's incredibly good for Jonathan's bipolar!

And here's the big announcement:

If you noticed above in the family plan we talked about working on our spirituality. Jonathan and I have decided to start going to our local LDS church to see if it is something we can both incorporate in our lives together. We had talked many times about having kids someday and desiring to raise them in a healthy, religious atmosphere so they can gain a good moral basis and be raised in a good environment with good friends and make them strong in their own convictions. I have researched many churches and maybe I'm a little biased because I was raised LDS and although I have made MANY mistakes throughout my life (as everyone does) I still feel that I turned out ok and that would be how I'd want to raise my children someday. Not to mention it would be really good to have the gospel in my own life again...the support it gives is phenomenal and I think that having so many good people who share my values in my life would be really healthy for me and Jonathan both.

I honestly didn't think that Jonathan would be up for even testing out the church. He was born and raised Catholic and he had gone a different direction with his life. He wasn't actively attending church and he was quite the party boy. He made some really bad decisions in his life that led him down a really bad path and he had to find his way back to normalcy. Part of the risky behaviors and bad decisions are chalked up to his bipolar and not really knowing about it or understanding it...they call it self-medicating. Most bipolars struggle with drugs and alcohol and other "risky behaviors" and Jonathan had his fair share of all of that. He surprised me when we were dating because I mentioned that maybe I would want to start going to church again to see if it's for me and he agreed to come with me to my oldest sister's ward. It surprised me that he liked it and even more that we were going regularly for about 8 months starting in January this year. We stopped going, however, because it was getting difficult for me to attend when I wasn't sure that Jonathan was really ok with it. I wasn't sure that it would be something we could do if he was unwilling to really apply the things we learned to our daily lives and if he wasn't planning on getting baptized to become a member of the church it must be because he wasn't ok with it fully and I really think it's important to be on the same page as far as religion is concerned. So I struggled with it for those reasons and others.

Today we went to our own home ward for the first time. I have never actually had my own ward so it was scary to say the least. We made my little sister come with us for moral support. In Sacrament meeting there was a speaker from someone in the stake or high council or something (I'm sorry...I forgot what his calling was) and he talked about the importance of tithing which was a really good talk and I learned a lot. After his talk, the bishop spoke about trials and their purpose in life and how we can learn and grow from them. Jonathan started tearing up a bit and pretended to be yawning (I thought it was a yawn..hahaha) and afterwards we met two members of the bishopric...one of which got all of our information and showed us to our Sunday School class. In Sunday School we were learning about Pure Religion and reading from the book of James. We learned a lot of good stuff and we got to James Chapter 1 Verse 5 that says: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." LDS members all know why that scripture has significance. That scripture is the one that inspired Joseph Smith to pray in the sacred grove where he saw a vision of God and Jesus Christ who revealed their plan for this church to be brought to earth. Joseph Smith is considered the first prophet of the LDS church. What a powerful scripture that is. Anyway, when we came across that scripture my little sister and I explained to Jonathan the significance of that scripture and how that is how the LDS church eventually came to be. Something struck a chord with Jonathan in Sacrament Meeting already and a bit in Sunday School. He leaned over to me and whispered that he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it through the next meeting (Priesthood for him/Relief Society for me). I thought it was because his stomach had been growling and he may be uncomfortable there and maybe just wanted to go home.

After the closing prayer was given in Sunday School, Jonathan bee-lined over to the bishop and told him we needed to sit down with him. The bishop said that we could set up an appointment and meet later after church but Jonathan told him it was necessary now. We headed into the bishop's office while Jonathan was explaining that he wasn't a member and that I was an inactive member. My sister took a seat in the foyer while we had our meeting. We sat down in his office and Jonathan said to the bishop, "I was listening to your talk in Sacrament and you moved me...I want to start down the path towards baptism." I was SHOCKED!!! I whirled my head around and looked at him with my jaw dropped and said, "WHAT?!!!" He went on about how he doesn't know what happened really but he was touched and wants to start down the road towards baptism. The bishop, obviously pleased and excited for us both, gave us the numbers to the area's missionaries and Jonathan has agreed to take the missionary discussions! I am still shocked now, as I'm writing this! I never expected this. I didn't even know if we were going to be coming back to church the next week because it was so complicated for us both to go when he felt so strongly about not being baptized. I don't know what changed but I feel that between the bishop's inspiring talk and the amazing Sunday School lesson something resonated with Jonathan and he made the choice entirely on his own. I am so proud of him for making such a difficult choice without any help from anyone at all. He felt inspired to do this on his own and that is something amazing to me. So tomorrow Jonathan is calling the missionaries and we'll set the first appointment with them.

I know that this may shock a lot of my friends because I haven't been religious for many years but I honestly have felt very deeply that I need to work on my spirituality. I feel that there is something missing in my life that could help me through all the trials in life. My goal is to get to a state of peace within myself and within the world. I feel that this is going to help. I am so nervous to go back for many reasons but it is something I feel will contribute immensely to my well-being and happiness and now I believe it will contribute to Jonathan's happiness and well-being too. I am not saying by any means that the LDS church is the ONLY way to go. I truly think there is good in almost every religion. I think that this is the one that works for me and I really believe this is the best path for us. I am overcome with emotion from all of this but mostly I am excited. I am excited to start this path with Jonathan and I'm excited to start doing something better with my life. I hope it will all work out for us and that it will be a good experience for us and help us lead a full life. Wish us luck!!